This is a PSA about not touching the zoo animals when a keeper (or a volunteer in uniform holding a very sharp rake) tells you not to. Usually, there’s a good reason for this. It could be because the animal is unpredictable, and as satisfying as it would be to see your sticky little fingers bitten off at the knuckle, the ensuing paperwork would be a real pain in the arse. It could be because it’s a reptile and thus potentially riddled with salmonella. It could be simply because the animal doesn’t like being touched by people with whom it isn’t familiar. Or it could be because we’ve judged you to be a c*nt and would rather stick pins in our eyes than let you anywhere near our animals.
If you see a keeper or volunteer holding or touching an animal, it is NOT an open invitation to get all up in its business. If you want to touch, ASK. And if you ask and we say no, don’t be a d*ck and do it anyway. Respect the personal bubble, guys; we really hate paperwork.